Now I know that all of you millions of fans of this new-car scented blog are dying to know what is the deal, the crack, the gravy to the aunt bessie's yorkshire pudding, the stress to the absolutely diabolical coursework, or what the point is to this blog well I'll tell you all. But it be a secret to be kept. If any no-gooders do wander across this blog, then well...I'm pretty damn screwed. For those of you that don't know the legend that is skydivingorange, then I guess I'd better start with something there. Let's begin from the beginning.
Hi! I'm Danny. I'm an absolute freak of nature that is the dictionary definition of Gordon Brown and Mother Teresa gettin' it on - just plain wrong. You'll find out pretty soon that I have a very, very weird mind that just don't wanna stop crankin' the volume to 10 and pretty well... annoy those near me. But that's where you've got to have like-minded friends that actually understand you. I have been blessed. The all mighty lord looked down upon my pitiful existence and brought me the homicidal, mentally retarded hobos from down the street to play with. Aaah. Thanks lord. I guess I've gotta explain something about my friends... hmm... who to start with??
Aiden - Well. Erm... he's got more flavour than a Willy Wonka Three-Course-Dinner Chewing Gum. He's got style that would out even Primark out of fashion. Aiden is what we call obsessed. Obsessed with what, I hear you cry. The Lady Gaga. OMG he rattles on about her!! Just as well that we're of to see her in concert together then!
Eliza - My good old friend Eliza. My extremely nice and good old friend Eliza. She's not all there bless her. She tries. She really does. Eliza is one of those friends that you know you can confide in, trust in, and just know that she's already forgotten what you've just said. In her own words, "I've got the memory of a goldfish!" Eliza has become one of my greatest friends, and my greatest achievement - I taught her that our science teacher looks just like the face of boe from doctor who. Wacky and weird. What would I do without Eliza (Elizard, Lisa Riley)?
Zoe - God I'd die without her. Without her...it'd be hard...hard to breathe. My good ol' snowboardin' buddy that has an ass that just don't wanna stop. No, I don't mean she's fat, she just has some freaky sh*t goin on in there. Zoe's zany antics have made me laugh at the demon of maths, cry after a punch in the face, fall out over an argument concerning bending arms to eat ice-cream, and mostly jammin' to Hot 'N' Cold. Zoe is a friend for life. Not just for Christmas. Yeh, if I got THAT in a present I'd send back up Santa's arse.
Rachel - Let's get one thing sorted first. Rachel is God. No arguing about it. We discovered this one day in a Spanish lesson and it sort of became Rachel's new identity. She has become a great friend - although I am rather jealous of her sneaky photo taking techniques. Rachel is one of those girls that is intelligent, witty, the kind to wear sensible shoes to Blackpool Pleasure Beach. She is a comic and I don't know what I'd do without her - or her scarf. The maths demon didn't know what had hit her. She didn't know that "I'm a wall feature". You shall always be my god... even if you can't spell hymn.
Fern - History, Art and dinner buddy. InFernal or Ferny-Ferny-Burny to me. She's so sexy. We often have ear sex at dinner time. Nobody can deny that Fern knows her stuff when pandas are concerned. Ferny has kept me sane in Art along with the McIntyre (she's next). I don't know if I'd be able to have completed my art coursework if it wasn't for her calming tones and actual good advice. Fernion is a saint. An angel sent by God. My life would be incomplete without you... don't ever change... ha lol. how over-used is that saying??
Emma - Emma, Emma, Emma. My art and drama bezzi. I couldn't have survived either without you. And even though our HOA (Haters Of Art) tendencies may have become weaker due to the Lockwood (our art teacher) actually being nice recently, we shall still never bow down before her. Emma, let's be honest, you're a good friend to me, but GOD you text and check your mirror too much. C'mon you know your hairs perfect so why even ask??
And finally...
Glen and Glen Jr. - These two came into our lives from a cold harsh winter in Spanish. Their warmth gave us light and hope at the end of the tunnel. Glen and Glen Jr. have become part of the family and they will always remain in my heart and mind, even if they have been put back in the store cupboard for another year. Oh did I not mention? Yeah, they're radiators.
So, yeah. I'm gonna try my best to update every Sunday (I know it's Thursday today but don't complain). I'll fill you in on the latest news about my random life and also, my favourite song of the week. And also expect to have stories written in science concerning a monster named Fred and his one-legged wife named Vestutipa. Yeah, I'll just warn you now. My first post on this Sunday will be about my fantastic dream involving Lady Gaga and Beyonce turning into fruit.
That is all.
Goodnight.
